Must fulfill the following criteria:

-dont get pissed when i flop, i flop a lot. im like an semi-cooked pancake.

-dont text me between the hours of 1am-10am [but if you get a text from me, you should probably reply]

-be willing to hang out with minimal talking

-always be down to get food at any time

-must be low maintenance friend

-be available at almost any time to “just grab a beer” [again, minimal talking]

-be willing to meet my family

-get along with other people in my life [unless we talk shit about them]

-outgoing [except when im not]

-let me call you a dumb hoe bag [i think i’ll be able to handle it if you call me that also]

-drive a car with a valid license

…Can you do all that?

Send me a fucking resume.

Modesty is overrated.

[Beliefs portrayed are that of the creator and not of me, although I am the woman in the picture]

I don’t know if that’s “lame” or not,

but I’m pretty damn happy.

The moment when you realize a child living in total poverty is more happy than you are. Money truly cannot buy happiness. I am in pursuit of that happiness.

This kid can dance.